The mystery

P1040723

The insistent activity,

the lifelong pursuit,

Unravelling the mystery of myself.

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11pm

 

sadness

I crash into you again

writhing with the pain

clawing down the sides as I

fall into your tunnel again

Things had been so good

When I wasn’t looking

it pounces

A thief in the night-time hour

The infinite

sadness

consuming me

Like I’m lost

blind

The scared little child takes over

Falling deeper ever deeper

I cannot see him

I black out in fear

and the sadness becomes me

“I’m sorry”, I whisper

as he pulls me out again

“Look at me! Look me in the eye!”

I gasp for air

breathing in the reality

I came out of it again

“I’m so sorry”, I whisper

“I’m so sorry.”

Lines in the Sand


“Tell us what to believe!”
The people shout from the crowd

The small still voice replies

“Much of this is for you figure out”

“Tell is what to hate Lord! Tell us,

Who is in and who is out?”

The small still voice draws silently in the sand

Pause 

“Are you without sin?

Don’t I accept you?

Didn’t I make a way for you when you had utterly failed me?

Did I not include you?”

Stones

Dropping

One by one 

To the floor

“Do a mighty miracle for us! Show us you are King!”

The small still voice gave no reply

Instead he stretched out his arms and finished it all

“I did this for you

One who doesn’t belong 

Who’s shut out of church doors

Who’s tolerated with clenched teeth and fake smiles 

Who’s not quite welcome

Politicians and clergy argue

Who’s right?

Who’s wrong? 

And the saved ones despise you

As if you had some contagious disease.”

The small still voice

Oh how he is grieved

When his children throw stones

When they could throw parties 

Invite the last

The least 

and the lonely

Open the gates wide for all to be welcomed to great table 

Let’s feast together!

Instead we made a club with an application process 

It shut you and me out 

But fear not

The small still voice is always making a way

Coming is the day 

When he’ll confuse us all 

With his radically loving way

Then our rules and our clubs will fall

And Love will win once again.

Oh I ache for the day when love will win once again.

x Gem x

Perfection.

we are so much more that just bodies..

We are the arms that carry our children 

keeping them safe and secure.                         A mothers comforting embrace   

Arms that’s reach out to help another in need

We are the legs that struggle along undulating paths     

That run in ecstatic nervousness into the beckoning ocean

Legs that will us to run when our mind said stop long ago

The knees that bend down to get to someone’s level, to somehow see the world through their eyes

We are tummys, perhaps rounder than before, poking out in glorious roundess   

Life being knitted together inside 

Or simply saying we are loved and we are fed 

We are the spines that labour day in                and day out to support us, to haul, to turn, to reach high                                                             Until it can carry us no longer 

We are the faces that hold another’s and tell them it’s going to be ok!

We are the lines around our eyes that tell us of a life lived in joy, in pain and everything in between              

We are the marks and spots that looked up to bath in the sun’s rays

We are the feet that feel the warm sand between our toes

We are the hands that pen stories   

Kneed dough        

Pick flowers for loved ones 

Paint a masterpiece 

Caress the skin of a lover

When we truly see at the wonders of our beautiful and complex bodies                           It’s hard to believe that we focus on the lumpy bits, the tummy that tells of childbirth, the bingo arms, the chubby cheeks, the not so perfect teeth.       

Where did this idea of the perfect body come from?

To me     

You’re perfect, because you have lived and because you have breath in your body 

Miraculous breath, proof that you exist   

And you exist in your magical, strong and resilient body.

Please 

Respect it

Nourish it 

Say you’re sorry for those mean things you have said about it

Treat it like a treasure 

Like a dear friend 

Be at peace with your amazing, perfect body.

Be forever free my friend,

X Gem X