Lent took my Gilmore Girls

This week marks my one year anniversary as a practicing Anglican.

I remember nervously walking into the small chapel early Sunday morning in 2016, not entirely sure what on earth I was doing there.

All I can say is that I followed my curiosity.

And what I have found is a truly beautiful, life giving, healing community and a spiritual practice that nourishes me.

Not to mention it’s a mere three minute drive from my house!

But enough of that.

We’re here to talk about…

Lent (Latin: Quadragesima: Fortieth)

Being in the charismatic stream of christianity for so long, the liturgical calendar was foreign to me and seemed a bit unnecessary.

These days I find deep, spiritual food in a traditional practice. It’s funny how things change. It’s funny how I have changed.

Lent is a 40 day observation in preparation for Easter beginning on Ash Wednesday and ending on Palm Sunday. People can give up rich foods, luxuries, television, alcohol and whatever distracts from seeking God’s face. Its a time to become quiet and to seek a deeper connection with the divine.

Pope Francis aptly articulates the heart of Lent when he says:

“Lent comes providentially to reawaken us, to shake us from our lethargy.”

This past year for me has been a year of loss, of starting again, of letting go of dreams, of grieving what was and things I am waiting for.

It’s been really hard. And I have found myself staring at a screen a lot medicate my own pain and to feel as if I’m connected in some way.

Praying, meditating or any serious spiritual practice has fallen by the wayside. I’ve had a deconstruction experience with faith so I’ve deliberately kept myself from being zealous in any spiritual discipline.

Come to think of it I’ve actually stopped being zealous about most things.

My bible has been sitting on the shelf in true “backslider” fashion for six months *shock horror gasp

In saying that, I now have a deeper faith than ever before.

But my heart longs to become quiet again. To learn how to sit with myself without constant options to distract, to numb myself from my own reality. Maybe I could try to trust God to hold me again.

This year I’m giving up social media and television. This is going to be an exercise in being brave.

I feel scared to just sit with God and myself again, I’m scared I might come away empty handed. I don’t want to force things anymore.

I don’t want to twist God’s arm into giving me my wildest dreams. I’d like to learn how to humbly accept and be thankful for the blessings in everyday.

This morning at 7am, arriving bleary eyed with my husband, we received ashes upon our forehead with the priests refrain over us “Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”

We then sung these words

We offer you our failures, we offer you attempts, the gift not fully given, the dreams not fully dreamt. Give our stumblings direction, give our visions wider view. An offering of ashes, an offering to you.” -Tom Conry

Are you doing Lent this year? I’d love to hear what your intentions are for this very special season.

Be free my friend

x Gem x

Be a Good Ass

“When you assume you make an Ass of of U and Me!” said the teacher at my management course. (Did you get it?)

That has always stuck with me in my work relationships, when I lead people and in my romantic world.

How has it felt when someone has assumed something about you?

When someone has assumed the worst in you, it feels mighty crappy doesn’t it?

That pit in your stomach, your eyes well up, your mind stewing over how someone could think you would be so terrible!! It really hurts to be painted the wrong way.

But I wonder how many times people around us have assumed the best about us and we haven’t really noticed?

This thought occurred to me the other day when I was hanging out with my husband.

When he does something to annoy me or forgets to pay a bill or says something to me that has potential to hurt my feelings.

I bet he assumes when I snap at him it’s because I’m really tired or I am having a grey day, I bet he assumes the best when I forget to load the dishwasher, I bet he assumes the best when I don’t listen to him properly.

Could I make a positive assumption each time?

Could I make a commitment to assume that he is a good guy and loves me more than anything in the world? Could I assume that he never sets out to hurt me?

I wonder how that would change my attitude towards him.

And what about assumptions in friendships?

Could I commit to assume that when a friend doesn’t text back for a week it’s because they are very busy and have alot going on? Could I assume that I am very much loved by my friends and that they want the best for me? Could I make the assumption that if someone wants to hang out, they will call?

I wonder how that would heal my insecurities, I wonder how my anxiety levels would decrease.

Assumptions my friend are good, when we assume the very best.

Being an Ass is inevetbale in this world, so why not be a good Ass with me and assume the best in the ones we love and maybe even in the ones we do not love so much.

Be free my friend

x Gem x

Nuh! Nights


Have you ever just had one of those days where your so pooped from your day that you just want to flop on the couch and watch Netflix all evening?

Yeah me too!

Oh but wait…#responsibilities.


But every now and then I reckon a ‘Nuh Night’ is just want the doctor ordered when it comes to self care and protecting our mental health.

The barrier to giving ourselves this gift is often what we tell ourselves when the desire to “Vege” crops up.

“I should do the dishes.”

“I should clean the floors.”

“I should get to that pile of laundry.”

Sounds familiar right?

Watch out for the “Shoulds” in your thoughts. They’re very good friends with your inner critic and they conspire with each other to make you do things that don’t really make you happy and keep you on the hampster wheel of existence, running around living a life you don’t actually like living.

So try a ‘Nuh! Night’ next time your exhausted.

Look those dishes right in the face and say

“NUH! Not tonight dishes!”

Kick that bug pile O’ laundry over in defiance!

And plonk yourself on that couch with your favourite snack and watch whatever the hell you want.

Good on you girl, you got this.


There’s no should in NUH!

Be free my friend,

x Gem x