I don’t think most people jump out of bed each morning and say “By golly what a marvellous morning to be a big Ol’ hater!
Im thinking lately that perhaps most “haters” in this world are really not haters at all.
Think about the last time you felt really beat down and criticised by someone
Could it be that this “hater person” just suffers from a severe lack of curiosity?
I left home in my late teens and with this new found independence came a joy for the grocery shopping. I just marvelled at perusing each aisle, coming up with different meals to try cooking and impressing my new housemates.
An older generation of “haters” swiftly met me with comments such as:
“Oh Gemma the novelty will wear off soon! Hahah, how cute for you not to be filled with cycnacism and apathy like the rest of us!”
Ok I may have embellished that last bit..
And yet almost a decade on and grocery shopping is still such a thrill to me. It’s literally my idea of a fun weekend activity!
And I read cook books for leisure.
I’ll tell you what, I’m a pretty darn good cook now thank you very much.
I’ve even been fortunate enough to make money from my artisan baked goods and I recently interned at one of Australia’s most prestigious artisan bakeries.
What would it have been like for those well meaning older people to have approached my teen comments with curiosity?
Maybe I would’ve realised my passions earlier
It takes a lot of emotional energy to concentrate deeply in a conversation
Do we ask good questions? Or do we just mindlessly reply?
Do we listen to understand, rather then just to respond?
Are we truly absorbing what someone is saying to us or are we worrying about what to cook for dinner?
I reckon both you and I are guilty of being an accidental “hater” just by our lack of curiosity towards those we love
But there’s another way forward friend
Let’s cultivate safe, meaningful relationships
Let’s consider our opinion as optional not essential
Let’s be curious when people are mean to us, what battle must they be fighting?
Let’s try to ask more questions
Let’s help one another get to the heart of ourselves and our deepest dreams and desires
Let’s believe in one another’s dreams
Let’s be curious together
Now I must be off to bake some hater slice with extra caramel!
Be free my friend
X Gem X