I remember when I went to pre marital counselling
Aside from realising how different
Adam and I are
One thing that our counsellor said
Will remain in my mind forever
Life is designed to pull you apart
And it couldn’t be more true
For anything that truly matters to us
Pulls us away gradually from our passions
The need to survive
Often takes priority
Over our desire to thrive
Have you noticed?
I am obsessed with this Netflix show called ‘Chefs Table’
It’s all about the stories behind some of the greatest and most innovative chefs in the world
I cry nearly every time
I think seeing someone decide to grab their dreams by the go nads hits a nerve deep inside of me
In the best kind of way
It reminds me that impossible really is possible
And that I can literally do
Anything I want to do
And It reminds me that I am not alone
Have you ever felt like you had to let go of a dream?
Was it the expectations of others?
Fear it just won’t work?
The needs of your loved ones coming before yours?
The necessity of making money to provide?
I hate the idea of people not following their dreams
I hate the thought of getting to 85 and regretting not doing what I truly wanted to do
I imagine myself as 85 very often and I ask her;
“What would you want me to do, old and grey Gem?”
I’m realising that I can give the finger to “Life” in really small rebellious acts in my daily grind
By little acts of creative defiance.
It’s like I’m saying,
“Yeah dream! I see you! And I still want you to exist, even if the dishes don’t get done today!”
These past 2 weeks have been insane for me
And I’ve struggled in moments where I’ve felt like I’m drowning in obligation and this longing for something more then the ‘nine to five lyf’
So how do you keep that dream alive and not let it die like that crispy excuse for a coriander plant on your ledge?
Acts of creative defiance looked like
Baking a beautiful loaf of sourdough
Buying a domain name for business website
Taking a nap
Eating a cheeseboard in the bath and sipping champagne (why the heck not!?)
Buying a pregnancy test and remembering that soon enough it’s going to come up positive
Picking flowers for myself
Putting my ideas in writing and texting it to an encouraging friend
Having lunch in the park with a colleague even when it’s not convenient
Ducking into an op to just buy one pretty something
I think when we make our dreams too big they become overwhelming
And they get ignored
And eventually they die
But I wonder what would happen if we all just gave “life” the finger in a small way today?
What would be your small act of creative defiance today?
Give it a go
If feels so good!
Be forever free my friend
X Gem X