Little Acts of Defiance

I remember when I went to pre marital counselling

Aside from realising how different

In

Every

Possible

Way

Adam and I are

One thing that our counsellor said

Will remain in my mind forever

Life is designed to pull you apart

And it couldn’t be more true
For relationships

For anything that truly matters to us

“Life”

Pulls us away gradually from our passions

The need to survive
Often takes priority 

Over our desire to thrive 

Have you noticed?
I am obsessed with this Netflix show called ‘Chefs Table’
It’s all about the stories behind some of the greatest and most innovative chefs in the world 

I cry nearly every time 

I think seeing someone decide to grab their dreams by the go nads hits a nerve deep inside of me

In the best kind of way

It reminds me that impossible really is possible

And that I can literally do

Anything I want to do

And It reminds me that I am not alone 

Have you ever felt like you had to let go of a dream?
Me too

What happened?

Was it the expectations of others?

Fear it just won’t work?

The needs of your loved ones coming before yours?

The necessity of making money to provide?

I hate the idea of people not following their dreams
I hate the thought of getting to 85 and regretting not doing what I truly wanted to do

I imagine myself as 85 very often and I ask her;

“What would you want me to do, old and grey Gem?”

I’m realising that I can give the finger to “Life” in really small rebellious acts in my daily grind
By little acts of creative defiance.
It’s like I’m saying,

“Yeah dream! I see you! And I still want you to exist, even if the dishes don’t get done today!”
These past 2 weeks have been insane for me 
And I’ve struggled in moments where I’ve felt like I’m drowning in obligation and this longing for something more then the ‘nine to five lyf’

So how do you keep that dream alive and not let it die like that crispy excuse for a coriander plant on your ledge?

For me 
Acts of creative defiance looked like

Baking a beautiful loaf of sourdough

Buying a domain name for business website 

Taking a nap 

Eating a cheeseboard in the bath and sipping champagne (why the heck not!?)

Buying a pregnancy test and remembering that soon enough it’s going to come up positive 

Picking flowers for myself

Putting my ideas in writing and texting it to an encouraging friend 

Having lunch in the park with a colleague even when it’s not convenient

Ducking into an op to just buy one pretty something 

I think when we make our dreams too big they become overwhelming
And they get ignored

And eventually they die

But I wonder what would happen if we all just gave “life” the finger in a small way today?
What would be your small act of creative defiance today?
Give it a go
Trust me
If feels so good!

Be forever free my friend
X Gem X

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4 thoughts on “Little Acts of Defiance

  1. Love this Gemma! Every spare moment I have I work on my novel. Why? Because I love doing it and if I didn’t chase after my dream my soul would shrivel up and die. Dedicating structured time to achieve my dream is essential and becomes a habit. So does rewarding myself after a long slog and jumping into pj’s and indulging in a glass of wine!! xx

    Liked by 1 person

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